Last night I went to a dinner party and my nuna-tube using friend told a story about being on holiday with her boyfriend in the Dominican Republic. They’d set the table out on the balcony and were about to enjoy a romantic dinner when they were ATTACKED BY A GIANT BUG! It was a fist […]

So yeah. I’m not really sure what to say. I know I want to give this 4 niqueheads. One for each hour. This is an epic story that takes its time getting to where its going but is never slow or dull. It concerns religion, sin, perversion, abuse, exploitation and trickery and is at its […]

A woman is on a whimsical, quirky and cute journey of self-discovery. I was prepared to give this a solid 3 niqueheads for being adequately entertaining but then in the last ten minutes Instant Swamp earned a 4th niquehead for being so fantastically over the top and hilarious. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so […]

Lame. Cliché. Unoriginal. Uninspired. Ordinary. Every situation was dumb and every character dumber. I disagreed so vehemently with every choice the protagonist made that it wasn’t even fun to be annoyed with her, it was just frustrating and an exercise not only in suspension of disbelief but suspension of tracking down the writers and murderizing […]

Eurk. I don’t even have the energy to review this shit. I guess they just can’t make good zombie movies anymore. I guess after REC there was no longer any point in trying. Bleh. This shit is Canadian and seriously low-budget. But that’s not why it sucks. It sucks because it’s 2009 so there is […]

So you know how Japan is completely effed up and totally awesome? Tokyo OnlyPic is more evidence of this undeniable fact. This movie is essentially a series of shorts mocking and satirising the Olympics but they also take aim at Japanese culture and hilariously, Americans. My only complaint is that a few of the jokes […]

Maybe mainstream Japanese cinema is just as formulaic and tired as Hollywood movies, I don’t know.  I don’t know if the Japanese movies they screen at Fantasia are typical for J-movies or if they are considered indie in their own country.  All I do know is that I loves me some J-cinema, based on the […]

This one is complicated… Canary is shot not so much like a documentary as a window into this alternate world.  It’s like we’re watching people go about their daily lives, which is just as dull as it sounds.  But I’m not saying this movie is boring.  You just have to pay really close attention to […]

This gorgeous piece of work is a Canadian stop-motion feature but it is NOT a kid’s movie.  It is innovative, interesting and amusing and I enjoyed every moment.  Screw Coraline, Edison and Leo is where it’s at. [rating:35]

Cryptic is like The Butterfly Effect, except with 100% less Ashton Kutcher, and therefore 100% better.  Time travel/timeline adjustment!  Now with less douche! [rating:35]