Maybe mainstream Japanese cinema is just as formulaic and tired as Hollywood movies, I don’t know.  I don’t know if the Japanese movies they screen at Fantasia are typical for J-movies or if they are considered indie in their own country.  All I do know is that I loves me some J-cinema, based on the Fantasia fare I’ve seen.  Fine, Totally Fine is at its core a romantic comedy but it is unconventional and sweet and mellow in a way Hollywood romcoms never are.  There’s no bullshit like mistaken identity or other flub-up that needs to be fixed.  It’s just about people living their lives and being quietly attracted to one another in spite of their obliviousness.  No one changes in this movie, no one gets a makeover, no one has an epiphany, no one really grows or achieves much of anything even when they try to.  They just live and love and carry on.  And it’s all fucking hilarious.

[rating:40]

So you know how Japan is completely effed up and totally awesome? Tokyo OnlyPic is more evidence of this undeniable fact. This movie is essentially a series of shorts mocking and satirising the Olympics but they also take aim at Japanese culture and hilariously, Americans. My only complaint is that a few of the jokes were carried too far and some not far enough. Overall this was random, weird, uproariously funny and ocassionally quite effective and clever satire.

[rating:40]

Eurk. I don’t even have the energy to review this shit. I guess they just can’t make good zombie movies anymore. I guess after REC there was no longer any point in trying.

Bleh. This shit is Canadian and seriously low-budget. But that’s not why it sucks. It sucks because it’s 2009 so there is really no fucking excuse for a movie that doesn’t have one fucking character who isn’t a white male. I mean really. Fourteen thousand characters in this movie and each and every one is a white dude. Unforgiveable. Plus it’s boring, stupid, tedious and forgettable.

Epic fail Yesterday. You do not earn a single niquehead.
[rating:00]

Lame. Cliché. Unoriginal. Uninspired. Ordinary. Every situation was dumb and every character dumber. I disagreed so vehemently with every choice the protagonist made that it wasn’t even fun to be annoyed with her, it was just frustrating and an exercise not only in suspension of disbelief but suspension of tracking down the writers and murderizing them. What the fuck ever, France, go back to smoking cigarettes or whatever you people do.

This is basically a zombie movie, or an “infected with killer cannibal virus” movie but it must now be added to the mounting evidence that the presence of zombies is after all, NOT enough to make a compelling story. It’s because of movies like this one that I wonder about the Fantasia board, the people who pick the movies to be screened. I mean are they serious about this piece of shit? It’s not even that it was bad. It was just… nothing. It committed the ultimate sin. The WORST SIN: boring.

[rating:10]